


Repressed Emotions Freed

by AccessAxel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Actually Deals With Feelings, Feelings, M/M, Minor Injuries, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Top Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 16:13:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AccessAxel/pseuds/AccessAxel
Summary: Dean Winchester did not like emotions or the things that seemed to come with them. But maybe this time, he could let himself give into them, just this once.





	Repressed Emotions Freed

Dean Winchester did not like emotions.

  
He hated how his eyes burned when dad yelled at him.

  
He loathed how he would flinch when Sam lifted his hand too quickly.

  
He resented how looking at Cas made his heart flutter and his stomach feel uneasy.

  
To deal with these emotions that he could not handle, he repressed them. Pushing them to the back along with Hell. They would not control him if they were not there.  
It worked for the most part. Focus on the job, drink a beer, blare music, just keep busy so they don’t slip out. Never giving them a chance to prove that deep down, he was weak.  
Dean fell onto the closed toilet with a groan, feeling the fresh batch of cuts and bruises rub against his dirty clothes.

  
“Son of a bitch.” He cursed, slowly removing his shoes. He tossed them to the side along with his socks. He forced himself to stand, leaning heavily against the sink. Dean unbuttoned his flannel before slowly slipping it off, pulling the scabs off along with it before letting it join the pile forming on the bathroom floor.

  
Dean pushes the shower door open and turns on the hot water as he sheds his jeans and boxers briefs with the same discomfort. He breathes for a few moments before stepping into the hot rain with a hiss escaping his lips.

  
His eyes closed letting the water wash over his face and getting himself lost in the rain. His eyes burned being left alone with the steady fall against his aching body. Dean took a deep, slow breathe, feeling the ache in his lung and ribs. He slowly trailed a hand down his ribs, lightly flinching when he found a few bruised ones.

  
Dean let out a curse and opened his eyes looking for the soap. He carefully cleaned out his freshly opened cuts and was careful around the homemade stitches. He watched the blood and dirt swirl down the drain and leave a slight trail on the white tiles.

  
It started with a small laugh. A laugh at how fucked his life was that this was normal. To come home and patch up his body that had barely healed from the last fight he got himself into. Instead of coming home and watching some shitty weekly show, Dean fucking Winchester was forced to put himself back together for the thousandths time and act like he was okay.

  
The tears got lost with the water as Dean’s hands shook. He fell forward against the wall and pressed his head against the cold tile. He lost himself to overwhelming emotions that he had bottled up.No matter how much the water burned and the cold wall made him shiver, he was still numb.

  
Slowly he returned to his task at hand of cleaning himself up. Small hiccups slipping out as he came back from his break down. The water turned cold and he finished washing the suds out of his hair.  
He shut off the water before slipping out of the shower. He grabbed a towel, quickly drying himself off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and exited the bathroom, leaving his mess behind him.  
He locked his bedroom door behind him and dropped the towel walking freely to his dresser. Groping blindly at a pair of boxer briefs and an old band tee shirt and slipping them on.

  
Dean glanced up at the mirror and stared back at the blue eyes that were scanning him.

  
“Cas, we’ve been over this. Personal space.” Dean turned around coming face to face with the angel who had let himself in.

  
Castiel didn’t respond but raised his hand to Dean’s forehead and quickly pressing his fingers against him.

  
Dean’s knees went weak for a moment, feeling overwhelmed by Cas’ touch. He took a deep breath feeling the ache in his ribs as a distance memory.

  
“You should have called me,” Cas spoke in a concerned voice.

  
Dean scoffed and walked away from Cas who had remained unmoved despite Dean’s request. “It was a standard hunt. Just, something came up.” He picked up his discarded towel and threw it on the chair.

  
It was Cas turn to scoff, “Something always comes up. I could have helped.”

  
“I didn’t need your help. I’m a grown man Cas.”

  
“And I’m an angel of the lord.” Cas retorted walking to Dean.

  
“I don’t need you to be my babysitter. I can do things on my own. I’m doing more than okay.” Dean returned not looking back at Castiel.

  
Cas remained quiet and looked down in thought. He reached out, grabbing Deans arm and turning him to face him. “Why do you lie to me, Dean?” Cas asked in a voice that held a broken hurt.

  
Dean blinked at Cas, not knowing how to respond. “I’m not lying about anything.” He didn’t move, staring back at Cas, feeling himself unable to move under his gaze.

  
Cas brought up a hand slowly and took Dean’s face into his hand. He slowly ran his thumb over Dean’s stubble.

  
Dean became speechless. His eyes cast to the side feeling the pressure build behind them.

  
Castiel took a step forward and rest a hand on Dean’s other arm. He slowly rubbed his thumb over where the Mark of Cain use to burn.

  
Dean felt himself give into Cas’ soft touch, leaning into his hand. He was more touch starved than he would care to admit. Sure, a few one night stands helped but feeling someone, no not someone, Cas carefully care about him felt better than the best blowjob.

  
Dean’s eyes slipped closed with a sigh and a mumbled sorry slipping between his lips.

  
Castiel smiled sadly, watching the tension leave Dean’s body and the emotion slip back in were the hardness had been.

  
When Dean opened his eyes Cas’ face was much closer than he remembered. Dean’s breathe snagged in his throat as Castiel had left him breathless.

  
Emotions.  
This emotion.  
Overwhelmed Dean.

  
Getting lost in the endless sky that was trapped in Castiel’s eyes. Luring him in, calling him to just give in to the turn in his gut and the uneven beat of his heart.

  
So he did.

  
Dean pressed forward and pressed his lips to Cas. His one free hand grabbing Castiel’s tie and pulling him closer.

 

Dean decided at that moment that Cas really was an angel.

  
Their lips moved together slowly, pouring into each other. Letting those years of close calls, lost, and redemption finally is shared.

  
“Fuck.” Dean pulled away for air, “I, you, you’re.” His tongue felt tied as he tried to put together just how Cas made him feel.

  
Cas gave a small smile, “I know.”

  
Dean laughed grabbing Cas jacket and pulling him back in. His free hand slipped under the trench coat and pulled at the dress shirt.

  
Cas pushed off the coat before wrapped his arms around Dean and pulling him close. both got lost in each other as the world disappeared. Cas press Dean against his desk as Dean got slowly frustrated with how many buttons were on the stupid shirt.

  
Castiel chuckled backing up slightly to pulling the shirt off. Dean jumped on him the second it was gone, pushing him back towards the bed.

  
Cas knees hit the back causing him to fall onto the bed and the brunette straddling him. He paused for a moment taking Cas’ head into his hands. He looked over his messy black hair and flawless face.  
That feeling in Deans stomach came in a hot wave, it demanded, no wanted, but more than lust. Not just for pleasure, but lust for Castiel.

  
“Dean.” Cas broke him out of his thoughts. Dean swore his name never sounded better coming from Cas.

  
He leaned forward, ghosting over Castiel’s lips. Cas growled annoyed and pressing himself forward and captured Dean’s lips.

  
Dean rolled his hips against Cas pants trying to relieve some pressure that grew in his shorts. He grew annoyed and pushed at Cas shoulder, breaking the kiss suddenly.

  
Cas tilted his head and Dean just responded with a smirk sliding his hands down Castiel’s chest, feeling his shiver underneath him.

  
Dean unclasped his belt before undoing the button. He slid off and pulled down Cas pants as his knees hit the ground. He licked his lips at the tent, “Goddamn Cas.”

  
Cas’ face flushed at Deans praise, staring up at the ceiling.

  
Dean took it as a challenge and trailing his fingers slowly up the inside of Cas thighs. He watched the great angel crumble under his touch, shivering at the mortal human.  
  
Dean pressing his lips to the inside of his legs kissing up them and leaving marks the higher he got. He bit at the fabric and gently pulled it off as Cas raised his hips. He grabbed it half way and pulled it to the ground, leaving Cas naked.

  
Castiel shivered as Dean kissed up his inner thighs again and bit at his hips. A moan fell from his lips, a prayer for Dean this time.  
  
Dean finally spared mercy to him and ran his tongue up the shaft.

  
Cas hissed and dug his hands into Dean’s hair. “Dean, please.” His gruff voice pleaded.

  
Dean smiled, wrapping his lips around Cas’ member and slowly sucking on the head.

Cas allowed himself to give into Dean, feeling a knot quickly form in his gut.

  
“Dean.” He spoke as he felt himself getting close, trying to get his lover attention. “Dean.” He pulled at his hair, pulling him off. “Stop.” He commanded.

  
Dean swallowed the slight burn in his throat nodded at Cas’ commanded.

  
Castiel leaned over and pulled Dean onto the bed, putting himself over him.

 

Dean’s face stared back at him with a glaze, still hiding parts of himself he didn’t want Castiel to see. To see a hunter, a vessel, a soldier, who was weak.

  
“Don’t fear me, Dean,” Cas spoke gently, pressing a kiss to Dean's ear. He kissed down his earlobe and nipped at it. “I always come when you call and watch over you when you do not.” He continued down his neck, stopping and pressing his tongue against a vein. He bit at the junction and sucked hard at the skin, feeling Dean go still as he left a dark mark.

  
He pressed his hand against the matching print on Dean’s right arm. “I promise you, Dean.” He stared back at the green eyes, watching the walls fade away.

  
“I love you Cas.” Dean stared at Cas like he was the world.

  
“I love you too Dean.” He smiled pressing a kiss to Dean’s lips.

  
“You trust me?” Cas asked looking over the freckles that danced across Dean’s face.

  
“I always have.”

  
Cas smiled pressing a kiss to Dean’s jaw. He ran his hand down and ran his thumb over Deans nipple. Pinching at it and kissing at his Adam's apple. He listened to Dean gasp and breath become uneven again as he left an array of marks along Dean’s neck. He continued down to his collarbone and sliding his other hand down to Deans pants.

  
Dean gasp as Castiel palmed him through his underwear. Feeling the rough fabric against his hard-on.

  
“Mine.” Cas declared roughly as he pulled down Dean’s boxer briefs so his erection could spring free.

  
“Yours.” Dean moaned as Cas’ hand slowly slid up and down his dick. Dean slid his hands down Cas’ back.

  
Cas hand moved south to Dean’s entrance, slowly sliding a finger in.

  
A noise got caught in Dean’s throat as he pressed his head to Castiel’s shoulder, hiding his burning face.

  
“It shouldn’t hurt,” Cas commented thanking god for a moment for gracing him with such powers that he was abusing.

  
“Don’t hurt,” Dean mumbled into Cas shoulder.

  
Cas nodded concentrating at the task at hand. Working Dean open before adding a second one and twisting his hand. Searching for a bundle of nerves.

  
A shock of electricity went through Dean’s spine and went directly to his dick. “Fuck Cas.” He moaned into Cas shoulder. Cas took it as a sign to add another working Dean up with unpredictable hits to his prostate, keeping him on edge.

  
“Cas, please, come on.” He pushed at Cas’ shoulder. “I want you.” He swallowed looking back into Cas eyes. Dean looked flushed all over and desperate, completely human and vulnerable under Castiel. “I need you.”

  
Castiel pulled his fingers out and shifted so he was in line with Dean. “You’ll tell me if I’m hurting you right?”

  
Dean kisses Cas for a long moment, “You could never hurt me Cas. I told you, I trust you.”

  
Cas felt his heart flutter and he pressed another quick kiss to Dean’s lips.

  
Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’ waist and groaned as Castiel filled him slowly.

  
He shifted as Cas held still, getting used to the new sensation. He took a few deep breaths before nodding, “Move Cas.”

  
Castiel did as instructed rolling his lips slowly. He built a slow steady tempo working as he watched pleasure light up on Dean’s face.

  
Dean’s breath became labored with Cas, a song of pleasure falling from them both as they moaned a grumble of their pleasure. Dean’s nails raked down Cas’ back as he felt himself getting close with every hit of his prostate.

 

“Son of a bitch.” Dean groaned. “Cas fucking. Please.” He stumbled his words rolling his hips in time with Cas.

  
His shower long forgotten as their bodies glistened with sweat. Cas moved his hand down and wrapped it around Dean.

  
Dean tossed his head back finally getting something more, the something he needed. He let himself get lost in the emotions. The love, the lust, the pure emotion pouring between them. It overwhelmed him but Cas kept him grounded.

  
He spoke Cas name like a prayer over and over feeling himself reaching the edge. He grabbed Cas head and pressed their foreheads together, staring into Cas eyes that seemed to glow with his grace.

  
Dean came with Cas name on his lips and a hot mess pouring between. Castiel groaned Dean’s name, his voice course from all the pleasure that fell beyond him. His eyes glow brightly as he finished falling onto of Dean, whose own eyes glowing.

  
They both road out their organism together breaths labored together.

  
Dean blinked up at Cas, running a hand through his sex hair. “Your eyes are glowing?” He commented.

  
Cas grinned, “Yours too.” He looked over Dean’s face with admiration, “It’s my grace.”

  
Dean smiled fondly at Cas and nodded, giving Cas the okay to pull out of Dean. Dean groaned at the lost, feeling cold chill takeaway from the once warmth. Cas leaned over the bed and grabbed a shirt and cleaned the mess between.

  
“No forehead touch?” Dean commented with a tease.

  
“Nah,” Cas smiled, “I don’t want you to lose those.” He pointed out the hickies that scattered across Dean’s skin.

  
Dean sighed rolling his eyes, “I’m not going to be able to cover those.”

  
“That’s the point.” Cas kissed Dean’s lips.

  
They laid in comfortable silence for a moment. Dean rolled over and nuzzled his face into Castiel’s shoulder. He took a breath of the smell of sweat, sex, and air; the smell of Cas, “You’ll stay right? Even if you won't sleep?”

  
“Of course Dean.” Cas ran this fingers through Dean’s hair slowly, “I told you I will always watch over you.”

  
Dean smiled against Cas shoulder whispering, “I love you.”

  
“I love you too.” Cas returned to him.

  
He watched Dean’s breathing level out as he got lost into the night and there Cas stayed by Dean’s side, protecting him as he promised.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in my drafts for over a year and my friend finally convinced me to start posting my writings. My boss also told me I need to do some "self-care" cause I overwork myself. So looks like I'll writing and posting here after having an account for nearly three years. Glad I started things off right by posting some smut.  
> Feel free to leave kudos/comments.  
> And here's my [ Tumblr](https://not-a-englishneer.tumblr.com/) since I'm trash or if you have a request or some shit.


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